Stop listening so much to the words and opinions of others, telling you who you are and what you should like and dislike. - Robert Greene

Your task as a student of human nature is to recognize and examine the dark side of your character. Once subjected to conscious scrutiny, it loses its destructive power. If you can learn to detect the signs of it in yourself (see the following sections for help on this), you can channel this darker energy into productive activity. You can turn your neediness and vulnerability into empathy. You can channel your aggressive impulses into worthwhile causes and into your work. You can admit your ambitions, your desires for power, and not act so guiltily and stealthily. You can monitor your suspicious tendencies and the projection of your own negative emotions onto others. You can see that selfish and harmful impulses dwell within you as well, that you are not as angelic or strong as you imagine. With this awareness will come balance and greater tolerance for others.

What you want is a picture of a person’s character over time. Restrain from the natural tendency to judge right away, and let the passage of time reveal more and more about who people are.

Admiration is the polar opposite of envy—we are acknowledging people’s achievements, celebrating them, without having to feel insecure.