When the clock reads 3:00, I don’t call it three o’clock, I… - Jarod Kintz

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When the clock reads 3:00, I don’t call it three o’clock, I call it three hundred, and I remember the Spartans. At 3:01, however, I remember what I was doing at 2:59, and I get back to it.

Jarod Kintz

The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink. · April 24, 2012 Verified in 1 source Sign up to see the complete provenance

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About Jarod Kintz

Jarod Kintz is an American author of absurdist humor, known for self-published collections of surreal one-liners and random thoughts. His prolific, often meta-titled works include "This Book is Not for Sale," "99 Cents for Some Nonsense," and "This Book Title is Invisible," published largely through Amazon Kindle. Widely quoted online for his deadpan, nonsensical voice, he describes himself as a writer, absurdist, and duck farmer based in the American South.

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Groucho Marx Woody Allen Brandon Boyd Steven Wright Margaret Atwood

Additional quotes by Jarod Kintz

We made eyes at each other, and then we made love. We also made other things too, like meatloaf.

I’ll stand by you forever. Or at least until noon, and then I’ll go stand under the cabana. Isn’t love amazing?

If love had feathers and tasted like dog food, then I suggest you wear shoes with your banana pudding. (This statement also defines my political beliefs).

When the clock reads 3:00, I don’t call it three o’clock, I call it three hundred, and I remember the Spartans. At 3:01, however, I remember what I w… - Jarod Kintz

About Jarod Kintz

Additional quotes by Jarod Kintz