At the time of the murder, I had an airtight alibi: I spent the night in a Ziploc bag. - Jarod Kintz

I made myself an “I Love Jennifer” jacket out of my old “I Love Jenn” jacket. Two girls, one continuous love. The I Love Jennifer is a little off-center, but then so am I. Better than being self-centered, as my clone would probably say.

I want to go to sleep in my time machine and wake up eight hours in the future.

The best part about being a writer is being able to communicate with people without moving my lips. The mouth is better used for kissing.