I like knocking on strangers’ doors, and when they answer a… - Jarod Kintz

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I like knocking on strangers’ doors, and when they answer and say hello, I respond, “I have returned, as prophesied.” Then I just stand there staring at them.

Jarod Kintz

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They say you fear what you don't understand. Maybe that's why every time I'm in South Florida, and I hear someone talking in Spanish, I always shit my pants.

A cigarette is just rolled up leaves, which makes it a smokable salad burrito. That makes the golfer John Daly a health advocate.

I don’t think anybody’s ever written a song called, “There’s urine on the couch, and the remote control is in the shower.” I would write it myself, but I’ve never been very good at writing love ballads.

I like knocking on strangers’ doors, and when they answer and say hello, I respond, “I have returned, as prophesied.” Then I just stand there staring… - Jarod Kintz

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