I’ll never go hungry, because I’m a pet owner and a meat ea… - Jarod Kintz

" "
I’ll never go hungry, because I’m a pet owner and a meat eater. I used to own broccoli, but taking it for a walk in the park didn’t work out so well.

Jarod Kintz

This Book Has No Title · March 22, 2012 Verified in 1 source Sign up to see the complete provenance

English

Collect this quote

About Jarod Kintz

Jarod Kintz is an American author of absurdist humor, known for self-published collections of surreal one-liners and random thoughts. His prolific, often meta-titled works include "This Book is Not for Sale," "99 Cents for Some Nonsense," and "This Book Title is Invisible," published largely through Amazon Kindle. Widely quoted online for his deadpan, nonsensical voice, he describes himself as a writer, absurdist, and duck farmer based in the American South.

All quotes from Jarod Kintz Similar Quotes by other Originators

Originators like Jarod Kintz:

Groucho Marx Woody Allen Brandon Boyd Steven Wright Margaret Atwood

Additional quotes by Jarod Kintz

Love is like a door knob that I’ve mistaken for a shower handle, and I’m trying to turn up the heat on our relationship, but the handle won’t turn and I’ve got shampoo in my eyes and my wetsuit is dry and I started crying just as the zookeeper asked me to leave.

Great earrings would be little speakers, so she can hear better. Or maybe she just wasn’t listening all those times I told her I loved her.

Why aren’t red traffic lights heart-shaped? Probably because it’s not like rush hour can get any more romantic.

I’ll never go hungry, because I’m a pet owner and a meat eater. I used to own broccoli, but taking it for a walk in the park didn’t work out so well. - Jarod Kintz

About Jarod Kintz

Additional quotes by Jarod Kintz