Since Nice Guys learned to sacrifice themselves in order to survive, recovery must center on learning to put themselves first and making their needs … - Robert A. Glover

In reality, the primary paradigm of the Nice Guy Syndrome is nothing more than a big covert contract with life.

Giving to get creates a cycle of craziness called the victim triangle. The victim triangle consists of three predictable sequences: 1) The Nice Guy gives to others hoping to get something in return. 2) When it doesn't seem that he is getting as much as he gives or he isn't getting what he expected, he feels frustrated and resentful. Remember, the Nice Guy is the one keeping score and he isn't totally objective. 3) When this frustration and resentment builds up long enough, it spills out in the form of rage attacks, passive-aggressive behavior, pouting, tantrums, withdrawing, shaming, criticizing, blaming, even physical abuse. Once the cycle has been completed, it usually just begins all over again.

In many ways, humans aren't much different from pets. People often behave the way they have been trained to behave. For example, if a person gives his dog a treat when he pisses on the carpet, the dog will keep pissing on the carpet. The same is true for humans. If the Nice Guy reinforces his partner's undesirable behaviors, she will keep behaving in undesirable ways.