Being for yourself simply means that you care about yourself. You wish to feel happy instead of worried, sad, guilty, or angry. You want people to tr… - Rick Hanson

Use imagery, which stimulates the right hemisphere of your brain. For example, if I’m with someone who’s getting intense, I might imagine myself as a deeply rooted tree, with the other person’s attitudes and emotions blowing through my leaves and shaking them — but winds always come to an end, and my tree remains standing. Or I’ll imagine that there is a picket fence between us — or, if need be, a glass wall that’s a foot thick. In addition to the benefits that come from the particular images themselves, activating the right hemisphere encourages a sense of the whole that is larger than any part — including that part of your experience which might feel uncomfortable with closeness. Be Mindful of Your Inner World

Linking is a powerful method. The brain learns through association, and when two things are held in awareness at the same time, they affect each other. The key is to make sure that what’s beneficial stays more prominent than what’s painful or harmful. Then the positive will purify the negative, rather than the negative contaminating the positive.

Every human being has three basic needs — safety, satisfaction, and connection — that are grounded in our ancient evolutionary history.