Jack Benny: That star has five points. - Jack Benny

Bob Hope: Put your head back through there, or I'll start handing out baseballs to the audience.

Jack: What do you think of this card I wrote for Don? "To Don from Jacky, Oh golly, oh shucks. I hope that you like it, It cost forty bucks.

Bob Hope: [finding some coins tied with string in Jack's trousers] When you ask this kid for a loan, and he says his money is tied up, he isn't kidding. This is an obstacle course for pickpockets.