The Nike swoosh logo would make an interesting mustache — on a man who runs his mouth all the time. - Jarod Kintz

There’s truth in only having a bicycle seat. I used to skip class and just hold it out in the hallway. When teachers would ask me what I was doing, I’d hold it up and say, “Sorry I’m late.

Professional wrestling is a lot like cuddling, I thought as I hugged a tree. As far as lumberjacks go, I’m slow, but when the tree finally falls for me, it falls hard.

Stir a smile in your coffee, and see if that brings out your inner unicorn. Then fry up a few rainbows. I like mine with extra blue and green.