If he's 27 today, he would have been 26 last week, and he doesn't look 26. He didn't look 26 last week, and he looks older than 28 today. - Karl Pilkington

On cutting open avocados- It's a food that ain't worth injuring yourself for. If it's a hassle to get into, leave it to the experts.

No it's one of them things though, imagine it.. if you're that caretaker and you're thinkin I've got away with this then suddenly a plant grasses you up.. you weren't expectin that.

Whats good with a holiday right.. say if you work in a factory from 8 in the morning till 8 at night, packin socks into a rubber bag right.. between 8 and.. what time did i say he finishes?