Does this behavior help me become the type of person I wish to be? Does this habit cast a vote for or against my desired identity?” Habits that reinforce your desired identity are usually good. Habits that conflict with your desired identity are usually bad.

One solution is to avoid making any single aspect of your identity an overwhelming portion of who you are. In the words of investor Paul Graham, “keep your identity small.” The more you let a single belief define you, the less capable you are of adapting when life challenges you. If you tie everything up in being the point guard or the partner at the firm or whatever else, then the loss of that facet of your life will wreck you. If you’re a vegan and then develop a health condition that forces you to change your diet, you’ll have an identity crisis on your hands. When you cling too tightly to one identity, you become brittle. Lose that one thing and you lose yourself.

Your habits are how you embody a particular identity.

When you make your bed, you embody the identity of someone who is clean and organized. When you study, you embody the identity of someone who is studious.

What identity are you embodying today? Who are your habits helping you become?

Over the long run, however, the real reason you fail to stick with habits is that your self-image gets in the way. This is why you can't get too attached to one version of your identity. Progress requires unlearning. Becoming the best version of yourself requires you to continuously edit your beliefs, and to upgrade and expand your identity.

An identity that is flexible will encourage your flourishing and support you in discovering new parts of yourself. Attempting to stay the same, or to get back to an old version of yourself, is a form of attachment that brings little security and causes much mental tension. If everything in existence is powered by change, our only option is to embrace it and let its movement inspire our evolution.

Identity shifts are change boosters because they help us cultivate constellations of behavior — not just one or two habits here and there. This is important because most aspirations require more than one type of habit change. It’s a set of new habits that will get you where you want to be — especially in the areas of fitness, sleep, and stress.

The more an idea is tied to your identity, the more you will ignore evidence it is false. To continue to grow and learn, you must be willing to update, expand, and edit your identity.

Identities can be an obstacle and a source of conflict between people and nations when they are erroneously carried like a flag. But it’s a different story when we recognize that nothing makes us better as beings in the world than our differences.

The way we work, the way we talk, the way we watch television or walk down the street, even the way we fuck, or maybe that especially—each of those is part of the problem of identity. We can’t do any of those things authentically until we find out who we really are and be that person, inside and out, instead of the person other people want us to be. Usually those other people, if they want us to be something we aren’t, are using us as a laboratory for working out their own identity problems.

By shifting your identity to align with the habits you’re working to adopt, you prepare yourself to live in a totally new reality by erasing the inner struggle of I’m doing X but I’m actually an impostor so it probably won’t last because it’s not really who I am.

One reason many people struggle is that they feel their identity is tied to the results they achieve.

On any given day, you may struggle with your habits because you're too busy or too tired or too overwhelmed or hundreds of other reasons. Over the long run, the real reason you fail to stick with habits is that your self-image gets in the way. This is why you can't get too attached to one version of your identity.

Progress requires unlearning. Becoming the best version of yourself requires you to continuously edit your beliefs, and to upgrade and expand your identity.

It's not what you are that holds you back, it's what you think you're not

It's not what you are that holds you back, it's what you think you're not!