I’m bilingual, speaking English and body language. I prefer the latter, because I can speak it silently and without listening and while my back is tu… - Jarod Kintz

Moral codes are like the ocean. Some people live by them, while others, such as myself, would rather live by a lake.

I’m surprised there isn’t a jet airplane designed in the shape of a brick. Some people (aeronautical engineers) might say that’s because bricks aren’t aerodynamic. Yeah, right. I’d like to see someone make that claim as they watch a brick flying towards their face at a high velocity.

I always keep the weather in my pocket, so no matter where I go, I always have something to talk about. Sudden thunderstorms embarrass me.