I always keep the weather in my pocket, so no matter where … - Jarod Kintz

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I always keep the weather in my pocket, so no matter where I go, I always have something to talk about. Sudden thunderstorms embarrass me.

Jarod Kintz

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About Jarod Kintz

Jarod Kintz is an American author of absurdist humor, known for self-published collections of surreal one-liners and random thoughts. His prolific, often meta-titled works include "This Book is Not for Sale," "99 Cents for Some Nonsense," and "This Book Title is Invisible," published largely through Amazon Kindle. Widely quoted online for his deadpan, nonsensical voice, he describes himself as a writer, absurdist, and duck farmer based in the American South.

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Groucho Marx Woody Allen Brandon Boyd Steven Wright Margaret Atwood

Additional quotes by Jarod Kintz

I know that man started animal husbandry thousands of years ago, and I think it’s disgusting. Men and animals should never be allowed to marry. Or have sex. And maybe not even engage in necking, unless it’s a man and a giraffe.

I don’t like to celebrate my birthday, because I don’t like taking credit for others’ work — in this case, my mom and dad. Or possibly my mom and the mailman.

To be surrounded by sixty people who make your life miserable is to be at a family reunion. But to be surrounded by 600,000 people who make the whole world miserable is to live in Washington DC.

I always keep the weather in my pocket, so no matter where I go, I always have something to talk about. Sudden thunderstorms embarrass me. - Jarod Kintz

About Jarod Kintz

Additional quotes by Jarod Kintz