My advice for a person who's just fallen out of a skyscraper window is, Flap your arms...faster. - Jarod Kintz

Additional quotes by Jarod Kintz

I love like a leaf in the wind. Please, hold your applause until the end of the performance (the last day of fall).

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I just recently figured out how mirrors work. Pretty cool. That guy always hungrily staring at my naked body was me!

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I told the waitress I wanted some coffee. She asked if I wanted leaded of unleaded, so I had to leave the restaurant, because I quit drinking gasoline years ago.

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