A psychiatrist once diagnosed my troubles as “an abdication of will.” - Oscar Levant

On Ira Gershwin:
I remember when he was given the manuscript of a novel written by a woman friend who had hopes of having it published. To his astonishment it turned out to be the dirtiest, most pornographic book he had ever read. When the lady mentioned that she intended to use a nom de plume, Ira suggested she call herself Henrietta Miller.

Now that Marilyn Monroe is kosher, Arthur Miller can eat her.

I heartily approve of her campaign to beautify America. It would be greatly improved if the First Family were kept out of sight.