I could put a tennis racket up against my face and pretend that I am Kendo Nagasaki. - Nigel Blackwell

Help me Mrs Medlicott, I don't know what to do, I've only got three bullets and there's four of Mötley Crüe.

Car crime's low, the gun crime's lower,
The town hall band CD, it's a grower,
You never hear of folk getting knocked on the bonce,
Although there was a drive-by shouting once,
But there's a brass band everywhere,
And I don't drive so I don't care, And as a nightingale sang in Berkeley Square,
What's Chatteris if you're not there?

Brian Moore's head looks uncannily like London Planetarium.