Last year, millions of students didn’t graduate from high school. They didn’t drop out, they were simply in elementary and middle schools. - Jarod Kintz

I have two friends, Steve and Martin. But I'd happily replace both for the friendship of Steve Martin.

Love walked in the door like a dusty cowboy, and I looked that cowboy dead in his eyes and said, “I thought I shot you.” And his eyes never blinked, wavered, or watered as he said, “You did. You shot me in the leg. But you can’t kill love that easily. And today you’re going to learn how deadly Love can be.” That was over four years ago, and I’m still alive. So that was his plan all along, to serve me up a super slow death. Sort of like torture, only imperceptible and more pleasant.

I asked her to wear something revealing, so she showed up in a prophet's toga.