We the people of the USA / José, we're not talkin' to you, ese We got a border in order to keep you out / It's what my NYU essay's about Cause we're … - Bo Burnham

You wanna hear a funny story? So uh... five years ago- I quit performing live comedy. Because I was beginning to have uh severe panic attacks while on stage. Which is not a great place to have them. So I-I quit... and I didn't perform for five years. And I spent that time trying to improve myself mentally. And you know what- I did, I got better. I got so much better in fact, that in January of... 2020, I thought "you know what I should... start performing again. I've been hiding from the world and I need to reenter." And then... the funniest thing happened...

Walkin' my poodles, man, it never gets old
With my dogs on the leash, I got bitches on the hold
A first-AIDS kit? That's a rhesus monkey I bust more nuts than a pistachio junkie

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? ... Names!