Siamese twins have it great because one can jack off while the other talks dirty. - Jarod Kintz

Additional quotes by Jarod Kintz

I’m always the last in love by exactly one person.

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I’ve only been in love one time, I said as I held up my pinky finger. I could have held up my index finger, but I wasn’t in love that long.

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When people change, I’m disappointed they’re not who I remember them being. And when people don’t change, I’m disappointed they still are who they were. All people do is disappoint, and I do mean all people.

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