Siamese twins have it great because one can jack off while the other talks dirty. - Jarod Kintz

Additional quotes by Jarod Kintz

I can read lips. Especially if they have words tattooed on them.

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Loyalty is for the dogs. Count me among the cats. And count me twice — once for each of my faces.

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To become one who believes two become one, you need love in your life.

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