My thought is me: that's why I can't stop. I exist because I think ... and I can't prevent myself from thinking.

I am a restrained person.
Otherwise my heart would race past my
tongue to pour out everything.
Instead I mumble,
I gnaw myself.
I lose hope.
And my mind is burning.

You're lucky. I'm always conscious of myself — in my mind. Painfully conscious.

I am well protected
Too locked up
Inside myself
To get free

I am always
in danger.

Obwohl ich von allen Seiten bedrängt werde, bleibe ich in meinem inneren Gleichgewicht, und weil ich mich an nichts mehr festhalte, bin ich nun mir selber meine eigene Stütze.

It was my protection. If I allowed myself to feel anything emotionally, I was not going to be able to do anything.

I have tried to let you go and I cannot. I cannot stop thinking of you. I cannot stop dreaming about you.

My thought is me: that's why I can't stop. I exist because I think… and I can't stop myself from thinking. At this very moment - it's frightful - if I exist, it is because I am horrified at existing. I am the one who pulls myself from the nothingness to which I aspire.

I pride myself on being incorrigible. I have a very hard time being told what to do.

Obstinate, headstrong girl!