You’ll drown in my love story, if I ever write it using a f… - Jarod Kintz

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You’ll drown in my love story, if I ever write it using a fountain pen.

Jarod Kintz

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81. Verified in 1 source Sign up to see the complete provenance

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About Jarod Kintz

Jarod Kintz is an American author of absurdist humor, known for self-published collections of surreal one-liners and random thoughts. His prolific, often meta-titled works include "This Book is Not for Sale," "99 Cents for Some Nonsense," and "This Book Title is Invisible," published largely through Amazon Kindle. Widely quoted online for his deadpan, nonsensical voice, he describes himself as a writer, absurdist, and duck farmer based in the American South.

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Groucho Marx Woody Allen Brandon Boyd Steven Wright Margaret Atwood

Additional quotes by Jarod Kintz

There are lots of great ideas in my book, but as a cohesive unit, my book is only held together with glue at the spine. Or it would be, if it weren’t an ebook.

Love is like a door knob that I’ve mistaken for a shower handle, and I’m trying to turn up the heat on our relationship, but the handle won’t turn and I’ve got shampoo in my eyes and my wetsuit is dry and I started crying just as the zookeeper asked me to leave.

A Kiss is a terrible name for a piece of chocolate shaped like a water droplet, because kisses are hot and would melt chocolate — even if it is wearing an astronaut suit made out of tinfoil.

You’ll drown in my love story, if I ever write it using a fountain pen. - Jarod Kintz

About Jarod Kintz

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Additional quotes by Jarod Kintz