I am the melted cheese of desire. Please, feel free to double dip. - Jarod Kintz

I rarely drink, but last night, after several hours and several beers at the bar, I found myself face to face with two huge boobs. They weren’t the breasts of a young woman, but those of an old man. Still, the taste of a nipple is genderless.

Tomorrow night I’m giving a lecture on silence and invisibility. Don’t be surprised if I don’t show up.

If I promise you I'll show up fifteen minutes late, I'll always arrive on time.