If I promise you I'll show up fifteen minutes late, I'll al… - Jarod Kintz

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If I promise you I'll show up fifteen minutes late, I'll always arrive on time.

Jarod Kintz

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Groucho Marx Woody Allen Brandon Boyd Steven Wright Margaret Atwood

Additional quotes by Jarod Kintz

My acquaintances aren’t worth the aqua I drink after they leave me thirsting for something more meaningful. I don’t want refillable relationships — I want connections so deep they are black abysses.

I miss her like 0, 1, 1, 2, 3, and 5 misses 8. When we made love, our two bodies formed one spiral that seemed to cycle to the sky.

"I shimmy so much before teeing off, people are probably thinking, "Are you going to golf — or dance?” Well, why not both?

If I promise you I'll show up fifteen minutes late, I'll always arrive on time. - Jarod Kintz

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Additional quotes by Jarod Kintz