I’d collaborate with my clones, because I’m a team player who wants all the credit. - Jarod Kintz

Her legs are so long and sexy that I can see them 26.2 miles away. Gatorade.

Tennis is the only sport with love in the score, and that makes it the most romantic. I would be a player, but I wisely use the net to go fishing instead.

The problem with Marxism is the proletariat isn’t going to rise up against capitalism and consumerism. The only time they’ll rise up is during a commercial break to either go to the bathroom or grab more beer.