I’m the Director of Redundancy. I’m also the Director. I make love like I make love, and that is why I am the Director of Redundancy. - Jarod Kintz

A windmill has arms, but does not hug. Where’s the love?

My ashtray is full, the carton of cigarettes is empty, and I just cremated grandpa. But I never inhaled — or told him I loved him.

I’m surprised there isn’t a jet airplane designed in the shape of a brick. Some people (aeronautical engineers) might say that’s because bricks aren’t aerodynamic. Yeah, right. I’d like to see someone make that claim as they watch a brick flying towards their face at a high velocity.