So that was how I spent nine months of my life. I felt like I was pregnant, except instead of giving life, I was wasting mine. - Jarod Kintz

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So that was how I spent nine months of my life. I felt like I was pregnant, except instead of giving life, I was wasting mine.

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About Jarod Kintz

Jarod Kintz is an American author of absurdist humor, known for self-published collections of surreal one-liners and random thoughts. His prolific, often meta-titled works include "This Book is Not for Sale," "99 Cents for Some Nonsense," and "This Book Title is Invisible," published largely through Amazon Kindle. Widely quoted online for his deadpan, nonsensical voice, he describes himself as a writer, absurdist, and duck farmer based in the American South.

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Additional quotes by Jarod Kintz

I peddle my wares as fast as I pedal my bicycle and petal my flowers, and that’s why my sales growth seems so slow. But given time, my brand will be in full bloom.

I want to own a wind farm. Don’t breathe, or you’ll undermine the price of my crop.

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When your family dies, that’s a bummer, but that’s life. When my family dies, it’s a tragedy and the world is unbalanced and biased.

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