What people lack in life is not more reality but illusion, fantasy, play. - Robert Greene

Our natural tendency is to project onto other people our own belief and value systems, in ways in which we are not even aware.

Do not think that what is hard for you to master is humanly impossible; and if it is humanly possible, consider it to be within your reach. — MARCUS AURELIUS

Life is harsh and people competitive. We naturally must look after our own interests. We also want to feel that we are independent, doing our own bidding. That is why when others try to persuade or change us, we become defensive and resistant. To give in challenges our need to feel autonomous. That is why to get people to move from their defensive positions you must always make it seem like what they are doing is of their own free will. Creating a feeling of mutual warmth helps soften people’s resistance and makes them want to help. Never attack people for their beliefs or make them feel insecure about their intelligence or goodness—that will only strengthen their defensiveness and make your task impossible. Make them feel that by doing what you want they are being noble and altruistic—the ultimate lure. Learn to tame your own stubborn nature and free your mind from its defensive and closed positions, unleashing your creative powers.