How many people here tonight are telekinetic? Raise my hand. - Emo Philips

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How many people here tonight are telekinetic? Raise my hand.

Emo Philips

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telekinetic psychic-powers telekinesis humor

English

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About Emo Philips

Emo Philips (born Philip Soltanec 7 February 1956) is an American stand-up comedian, actor, voice actor, writer and producer. He is known for his eccentric appearance, surreal humor, and the bizarre cadence of his voice in the delivery of his lines.

Biography information from Wikiquote

Also Known As

Birth Name: Philip Soltanec

All quotes from Emo Philips Similar Quotes by other Originators

Originators like Emo Philips:

David Sedaris Steven Wright Rodney Dangerfield Jarod Kintz J. D. Salinger

Additional quotes by Emo Philips

I was with this girl the other night and from the way she was responding to my skillful caresses, you would have sworn that she was... conscious. … But I love her from the hair on her head to the tag on her toes.

I was walking down Fifth Avenue today and I found a wallet, and I was gonna keep it, rather than return it, but I thought: "Well, if I lost a hundred and fifty dollars, how would I feel?" And I realized I would want to be taught a lesson.

You know what I hate? Indian givers... no, I take that back.