I can throw an orange like a baseball, but I can’t eat a ba… - Jarod Kintz

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I can throw an orange like a baseball, but I can’t eat a baseball like an orange. Let that be a life lesson for you.

Jarod Kintz

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Groucho Marx Woody Allen Brandon Boyd Steven Wright Margaret Atwood

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I admire from a distance. Too close and the flaws form a craterous landscape and the charm is lost. Who do you think I am, Neil Armstrong?

It’s not true I think all politicians are morons. Morons are far too intelligent to be politicians.

I know she is going on vacation, so I knitted her a sweater. It matches the bathing suit I knitted her, and it’s as revealing as my feelings for her.

I can throw an orange like a baseball, but I can’t eat a baseball like an orange. Let that be a life lesson for you. - Jarod Kintz

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