Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempti… - Mark Twain

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Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot.
BY ORDER OF THE AUTHOR
per
G.G., CHIEF OF ORDNANCE

English
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About Mark Twain

Samuel Langhorne Clemens (November 30, 1835 – April 21, 1910), known as Mark Twain, was an American humorist, novelist, writer, and lecturer.

Biography information from Wikiquote

Also Known As

Birth Name: Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Alternative Names: Thomas Jefferson Snodgrass Samuel L. Clemens Samuel Clemens Quintus Curtius Snodgrass
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Additional quotes by Mark Twain

A cat is more intelligent than people believe, and can be taught any crime.

A God who could make good children as easily as bad, yet preferred to make bad ones; who could have made every one of them happy, yet never made a single happy one; who made them prize their bitter life, yet stingily cut it short; who gave his angels eternal happiness unearned, yet required his other children to earn it; who gave his angels painless lives, yet cursed his other children with biting miseries and maladies of mind and body; who mouths justice, and invented hell — mouths mercy, and invented hell — mouths Golden Rules and forgiveness multiplied by seventy times seven, and invented hell; who mouths morals to other people, and has none himself; who frowns upon crimes, yet commits them all; who created man without invitation, then tries to shuffle the responsibility for man's acts upon man, instead of honorably placing it where it belongs, upon himself; and finally, with altogether divine obtuseness, invites his poor abused slave to worship him!

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Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.

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