With all the money my uncle embezzled over the years, it's … - Jarod Kintz

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With all the money my uncle embezzled over the years, it's no surprise he lives in a gated community. But what is amazing, however, is that he somehow managed to get his own cell.

Jarod Kintz

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About Jarod Kintz

Jarod Kintz is an American author of absurdist humor, known for self-published collections of surreal one-liners and random thoughts. His prolific, often meta-titled works include "This Book is Not for Sale," "99 Cents for Some Nonsense," and "This Book Title is Invisible," published largely through Amazon Kindle. Widely quoted online for his deadpan, nonsensical voice, he describes himself as a writer, absurdist, and duck farmer based in the American South.

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Groucho Marx Woody Allen Brandon Boyd Steven Wright Margaret Atwood

Additional quotes by Jarod Kintz

Andrew is such a diplomatic name. Or at least it is for the first three letters, as and is a word that works hard to join things together and promote cohesiveness.

Sometimes I feel I’m just doing a poor impression of a person. Maybe I feel this way because I have no money.

If you’re tired of taking one step forward and two steps back, just turn around. That way you’ll be going forward in reverse.

With all the money my uncle embezzled over the years, it's no surprise he lives in a gated community. But what is amazing, however, is that he someho… - Jarod Kintz

About Jarod Kintz

Additional quotes by Jarod Kintz