My wife loves window shopping. As for me, I’m more into curtains. - Jarod Kintz

I made myself an “I Love Jennifer” jacket out of my old “I Love Jenn” jacket. Two girls, one continuous love. The I Love Jennifer is a little off-center, but then so am I. Better than being self-centered, as my clone would probably say.

If there are two men, Rod and Rob, and you can only steal from one, which one would you choose? The answer is: Whichever one is a banker.

All drivers run red lights the same way — with a glance in the rearview mirror to see if a cop saw them. I love the same way — with a sense of defiance, urgency, emergency, and caution that comes too late.