Love is like war, except without all the blood and death and stuff. - Jarod Kintz

I want to own a wind farm. Don’t breathe, or you’ll undermine the price of my crop.

People ask me all the time, “Jarod, how come you are so much more romantic than anybody else?” And I say, “Simple. I have brains, heart, courage, and most importantly, I have ruby red slippers.

The best thing about an air sandwich is between the two slices of bread there exists the possibility of flight. And if those two slices of bread are soggy, then you have just created Duck Heaven.