9 Quotes Tagged: hilarious

I'm a little bit naked, but that's okay.

Let's pray that the human race never escapes Earth to spread its iniquity elsewhere.

My favorite people are the ones that can make any unfunny joke hilarious by just laughing.

Mockery be damned, my urine looked delicious.

If the shoe fits, buy another one just like it.

Two passing jetliners reported to controllers they’d seen a man with a gun seated on a deck chair at eleven thousand feet…

Someone called all the newspapers in New York and told them I'd died. I've been told by almost everyone it was an ex-wife - I've had a few so it's hard to pinpoint which one - but who knows for sure?

And after his unparsable response, including a passage where he said he was 'blurring the boundaries between a thing and thought,' she said, 'Thank you, I get lost sometimes,' while laying two fingers on his folded arm.

Above him loomed a grotesque fat man [...] His bedrobe was large enough to serve as a tourney pavilion, but its loosely knotted belt had come undone, exposing a huge white belly and a pair of heavy breasts that sagged like sacks of suet covered with coarse yellow hair.