Andy Weir Quotes

Honestly, this is the best “bonus Mars time” we’ve had since the Opportunity lander. [09:02] WATNEY: Opportunity never went back to Earth. [09:17] JPL: Sorry. Bad analogy.

Presuming I don’t fuck up with the hydrazine, there’s still the matter of burning hydrogen. I’m going to be setting a fire. In the Hab. On purpose. If you asked every engineer at NASA what the worst scenario for the Hab was, they’d all answer “fire.” If you asked them what the result would be, they’d answer “death by fire.

I’m leaving Mars today, one way or another. About fucking time.

This all sounds like a great idea with no chance of catastrophic failure. That was sarcasm, by the way.

"I guess you could call it a "failure", but I prefer the term "learning experience"."

It’s like sticking your finger in a glass of water to see if it’s hot or cold. You put a tiny part of yourself into the vessel, and when you bring it back out, you’ve gained all the experiences it had.

An ironic death for someone with a leaky space suit: too much oxygen.

The screen went black before I was out of the airlock. Turns out the “L” in “LCD” stands for “Liquid.” I guess it either froze or boiled off. Maybe I’ll post a consumer review. “Brought product to surface of Mars. It stopped working. 0/10.

Here’s a woman who had survived the centrifuge, the vomit comet, hard-landing drills and 10k runs. A woman who fixed a simulated MDV computer failure while being spun around upside-down. But she was afraid of a tattoo needle.

"Mark, some answers to your earlier questions:
No, we will not tell our Botany Team to "Go fuck themselves."
[...]
The data transfer rate just isn't enough for the size of music files, even in compressed formats. So your request for "Anything, oh god, ANYTHING but Disco" is denied. Enjoy your boogie fever."

"I pull the sheet off the bed and wrap it around my torso a couple of times. I pull one corner over my shoulder from behind my back and tie it to another from the front. Instant toga.

"Self-ambulation detected," says the computer. "What's your name?"
"I am Emperor Comatose. Kneel before me."
"Incorrect.

LOG ENTRY: SOL 381 I’ve been thinking about laws on Mars.

Yeah, I know, it’s a stupid thing to think about, but I have a lot of free time.

There’s an international treaty saying no country can lay claim to anything that’s not on Earth. And by another treaty, if you’re not in any country’s territory, maritime law applies.

So Mars is “international waters.”

NASA is an American nonmilitary organization, and it owns the Hab. So while I’m in the Hab, American law applies. As soon as I step outside, I’m in international waters. Then when I get in the rover, I’m back to American law.

Here’s the cool part: I will eventually go to Schiaparelli and commandeer the Ares 4 lander. Nobody explicitly gave me permission to do this, and they can’t until I’m aboard Ares 4 and operating the comm system. After I board Ares 4, before talking to NASA, I will take control of a craft in international waters without permission.

That makes me a pirate!

A space pirate!

I didn't want to spend any more time inside the mind of an economist. It was dark and disturbing.

I’m the first person to be alone on an entire planet.

Phobos is the god of fear, and I’m letting it be my guide. Not a good sign.