Classical Athenian comic playwright (c. 446 – c. 386 BC)
Aristophanes (Greek: Ἀριστοφάνης; c. 446 – c. 386 BC) was a Greek poet and playwright of the Old Comedy, also known as the Father of Comedy and the Prince of Ancient Comedy. Of his forty plays, eleven are extant, plus a thousand fragments of the others.
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Native Name:
Ἀριστοφάνης
Alternative Names:
Father of Comedy
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What matters that I was born a woman, if I can cure your misfortunes? I pay my share of tolls and taxes, by giving men to the State. But you, you miserable greybeards, you contribute nothing to the public charges; on the contrary, you have wasted the treasure of our forefathers, as it was called, the treasure amassed in the days of the Persian Wars. You pay nothing at all in return; and into the bargain you endanger our lives and liberties by your mistakes. Have you one word to say for yourselves?... Ah! don't irritate me, you there, or I'll lay my slipper across your jaws; and it's pretty heavy.
Chorus of old men: If we give them the least hold over us, 'tis all up! their audacity will know no bounds! We shall see them building ships, and fighting sea-fights like Artemisia; nay if they want to mount and ride as cavalry, we had best cashier the knights, for indeed women excel in riding, and have a fine, firm seat for the gallop. Just think of all those squadrons of Amazons Micon has painted for us engaged in hand-to-hand combat with men.
"DICAEOPOLIS
Why, what has happened?
AMPHITHEUS
I was hurrying to bring your treaty of truce, but some old dotards
from Acharnae(1) got scent of the thing; they are veterans of Marathon,
tough as oak or maple, of which they are made for sure — rough and
ruthless. They all started a-crying: "Wretch! you are the bearer of
a treaty, and the enemy has only just cut our vines!" Meanwhile they
were gathering stones in their cloaks, so I fled and they ran after
me shouting.
f(1) The deme of Acharnae was largely inhabited by charcoal-burners,
who supplied the city with fuel.
DICAEOPOLIS
Let 'em shout as much as they please! But HAVE you brought me
a treaty?
AMPHITHEUS
Most certainly, here are three samples to select from,(1) this one is
five years old; take it and taste.
f(1) He presents them in the form of wines contained in three separate
skins.
DICAEOPOLIS
Faugh!
AMPHITHEUS
Well?
DICAEOPOLIS
It does not please me; it smells of pitch and of the ships they are
fitting out.(1)
f(1) Meaning, preparations for war.
AMPHITHEUS
Here is another, ten years old; taste it.
DICAEOPOLIS
It smells strongly of the delegates, who go around the towns
to chide the allies for their slowness.(1)
f(1) Meaning, securing allies for the continuance of the war.
AMPHITHEUS
This last is a truce of thirty years, both on sea and land.
DICAEOPOLIS
Oh! by Bacchus! what a bouquet! It has the aroma of nectar and
ambrosia; this does not say to us, "Provision yourselves for three
days." But it lisps the gentle numbers, "Go whither you will."(1)
I accept it, ratify it, drink it at one draught and consign the
Acharnians to limbo. Freed from the war and its ills, I shall
keep the Dionysia(2) in the country.
f(1) When Athens sent forth an army, the soldiers were usually ordered
to assemble at some particular spot with provisions for three days.
f(2) These feasts were also called the Anthesteria or Lenaea; the Lenaem
was a temple to Bacchus, erected outside the city. They took place
during the month Anthesterio
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STREPSIADES. Very well then! Look this way. Do you see that little door and that little house? PHIDIPPIDES. Yes, father. But what are you driving at? STREPSIADES. That is the school of wisdom. There, they prove that we are coals enclosed on all sides under a vast extinguisher, which is the sky. If well paid, these men also teach one how to gain law-suits, whether they be just or not. PHIDIPPIDES. What do they call themselves? STREPSIADES. I do not know exactly, but they are deep thinkers and most admirable people.
Epops: You're mistaken: men of sense often learn from their enemies. Prudence is the best safeguard. This principle cannot be learned from a friend, but an enemy extorts it immediately. It is from their foes, not their friends, that cities learn the lesson of building high walls and ships of war. And this lesson saves their children, their homes, and their properties. Chorus [leader]: It appears then that it will be better for us to hear what they have to say first; for one may learn something at times even from one's enemies. (tr. Anon. 1812 rev. in Ramage 1864, p. 45)