Brian Regan Quotes

American comedian

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Brian Joseph Regan (born 2 June 1958) is an American stand-up comedian who uses observational, sarcastic, and self-deprecating humor. His performances are relatively clean as he refrains from profanity and off-color humor.

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Alternative Names: Brian Joseph Regan

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"Brian, how do you make a word a plural?" |teacher

"What are you speaking, German, Brian?" | teacher

I wasn't even close! I was using numbers, and stuff!"|kid

Spell a word wrong, sit down in front of your friends." Yeah, that's great for little egos:|Brian

"No, Brian, no... Let's try another one. Irwin, what's the plural for goose?" |teacher

So, she asks this kid, who knew everything, Irwin. |Brian

"Alright kids, up against the wall. It's time for public humiliation. |teacher

"Brian, what's the plural for MOOSE?" |teacher

MOOSEN! I saw a flock of moosen! There were many of 'em. Many much, moosen. Out in the woods—in the woodes—in the woodsen. The meese want the food. Food is to eatenesen! THE MEESE WANT THE FOOD IN THE WOODENESEN! AND THE FOOD IN THE WOODYENESEN! |Brian

Uh... I don't know. I'd be a lot better off, if I would've studied more, when I was growing up, you know? But, you know, the day where it all went wrong, was the day they started the spelling bee.

"What are you, an idiot, Brian?" |teacher

"BRIAN! Brian... You're an imbecile." | teacher

'Cause up until that day, I was an idiot, but nobody else knew, you know?

"K-A-T, I'm outta here." |Kid

That's a hard rule. That's a— that's a rough rule. |Brian