Douglas Adams Quotes

Why' is the only question that bothers people enough to have an entire letter of the alphabet named after it.

The alphabet does not go 'A B C D What? When? How?' but it does go 'V W X Why? Z.

Infinity itself looks flat and uninteresting. Looking up into the night sky is looking into infinity – distance is incomprehensible and therefore meaningless.

Lovers of print are simply confusing the plate for the food.

I've come up with a set of rules that describe our reactions to technologies:

There was a point to this story, but it has temporarily escaped the chronicler's mind.

There are some oddities in the perspective with which we see the world.

There was an accident with a contraceptive and a time machine. Now concentrate!

It is an important and popular fact that things are not always what they seem. For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much, the wheel, New York, wars and so on - whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man for precisely the same reasons…

It's quicker, easier, and involves less licking

There was constant talk about hewing things and ravaging things and splitting things asunder. Lots of big talk of things being mighty, and of things being riven, and of things being in thrall to other things, but very little attention given, as I now realise, to the laundry.

LAXOBIGGING (ptcpl.vb.) Struggling to extrude an extremely large turd.

Everybody has their moment of great opportunity in life. If you happen to miss the one you care about, then everything else becomes eerily easy.

The truth of the matter is, that most English people don't know how to make tea anymore either, and most people drink cheap instant coffee instead, which is a pity, and gives Americans the impression that the English are just generally clueless about hot stimulants.

Shee, you guys are so unhip it's a wonder your bums don't fall off.

The only thing nicer than a phone that didn't ring all the time (or indeed at all) was six phones that didn't ring all the time (or indeed at all).