Nigerian author, advocate, women and girl child's rights activist and columnist
Esther Ijewere (formerly Esther Kalejaiye) is a Nigerian author, advocate, women and girl child's rights activist and a columnist for The Guardian. She is a key member of Walk Against Rape (W.A.R), an advocacy initiative created to assist rape victims and seek justice. A graduate of Sociology from Olabisi Onabanjo University, Ago Iwoye, Ogun State, Nigeria.
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YOU LOOK GREAT: This one’s a no-brainer, right? After spending a significant amount in a relationship, they still love hearing that our partner finds them attractive. This is particularly the case if they’ve been putting in some time at the gym. Your compliments serve as a reward for their hard work and as motivation to keep them going.
I TRUST YOU: There are fewer things more sacred than trusting someone with your life. When you’re in a relationship, this is an essential truth. Here’s a bit of advice from Georgianna Donadio, Ph.D., “The best time to share your feelings (is) just before or during close intimacy. At that time, levels of oxytocin, a hormone that enhances feelings of trust, love and intimacy, are elevated, making it the best moment to love talk with your partner.
I'M LISTENING: Men and women communicate very differently. For example, in an argument, a woman is usually more willing to sit down and have a dialogue. The man often feels an inclination to seek solitude to think things over or distract himself. They do love hearing “I’m listening” or “I’m ready to listen when you’re ready to talk” in any case.
I APPRECIATE WHAT YOU DO: Men need to feel like they are good providers for the people they love. If they believe anything less, they don’t perceive themselves as the man they should be. As such, when they are told that you’re thankful for their hard work, effort, and for providing, it means a tremendous deal to them.
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THANK YOU: Similar to women, men appreciate recognition for efforts small and little. “Thank you” is a straightforward yet powerful phrase that shows them your appreciation for what they do. (Here’s a tip, ladies: if you say “Thank you” on a regular basis for something they do, they are much more likely to do it again.)