Glennon Doyle Quotes

If you feel warm toward me but also believe I'm going to burn in hell, you do not love me. If you wish me well but vote against my family being protected by the law, you do not love me. Thank you for understanding that to love me as yourself means to want for me and for my family every good thing you want for yourself and your family. Anything less than that is less than love.

The porn kids come across on the internet, is misogynistic poison. We have to explain that to them so they don't think sex is about violence.

Sex is a wonderful and exciting thing about being human. It is natural to be curious about sex and when we are curious about things, we turn to the internet for information. But here's the problem with using the internet to learn about sex: you cannot know who is doing the teaching. There are people who have taken sex and sucked all the life out of it to package it and sell it on the internet.

What they’re selling is not real sex. It lacks connection, respect, and vulnerability, which is what makes sex sexy. This kind of porn is sold by people who are like drug dealers. They sell a product that fills people with a rush that feels like joy for a short while but then becomes a killer of real joy. Over time people prefer the rush of drugs to the real joy of life. Many who start watching porn very young will get hooked on the rush. Eventually, they will find it hard to enjoy real sex with real human beings.

Trying to learn about sex from porn is like trying to learn about the mountains by sniffing one of those air fresheners they sell at the gas station. When you finally get to the real mountains and breathe in that pure, wild air — you might be confused. You might wish it smelled like that fake, manufactured air freshener version.

We don’t want you to stay away from porn while you’re young because sex is bad. We want you to stay away from porn because real sex — with humanity and vulnerability and love — is indescribably good. We don’t want fake sex ruining real sex for you.

Letting go of structures can feel uncomfortable and disorienting. Rumbling freedom is scary because at first it feels like chaos...But "progress" is just perpetually undoing out no-longer-true-enough systems in order to create new ones that more closely fit people as they really are. People aren't changing, after all. It's just that for the first time, there's enough freedom for people to stop changing who they are. Progress is the acknowledgement of what is and what has always been. Progress is always a returning.

As I climbed out of the tub and shook my hair dry, I told myself: Maybe in a different life. Isn't that interesting? As if I had more than one.

Hard feelings rang my bell and then left me with a package filled with brand-spanking-new information about myself. This new information was always exactly what I needed to know about myself to take the next step in my life with confidence and creativity. It turned out that what I needed most was inside the one place I'd been running from my entire life: pain. Everything I needed to know next was inside the discomfort of now.

If you are uncomfortable — in deep pain, angry, yearning, confused — you don't have a problem, you have a life. Being human is not hard because you're doing it wrong, it's hard because you're doing it right. You will never change the fact that being human is hard, so you must change your idea that it was ever supposed to be easy.

I looked at all of those contradictory opinions and thought: If there is, in fact, an objective right or wrong way to handle this, why do all of these people have such different ideas about what a person should do? I had an epiphany: It must be that should and shouldn't, right and wrong, good and bad — they're not wild. They're not real. They're just culturally constructed, artificial, ever-changing cages created to maintain institutions. It struck me that in every family, culture, or religion, ideas of right and wrong are the hot cattle prods, the barking sheepdogs that keep the masses in the herd. They are the bars that keep us caged.

I have decided that I want to be in love with a person, not a feeling. I want to be found in love, not lost in it. I'd rather exist than disappear.

The voice I finally heard that day was my own — the girl I'd locked away at ten years old, the girl I was before the world told me who to be — and she said: Here I am. I'm taking over now.

People have different ideas about what's brave. You did the brave thing, because the brave thing is doing what your Knowing tells you to do. You don't ask others what's brave, you feel and know what's brave. What you know to do might be the opposite of what others are telling you to do. It takes special bravery to honor yourself when the crowd is pressuring you not to. [...]

Sometimes being brave requires letting the crowd think you're a coward. Sometimes being brave means letting everyone down but yourself.

All of the beliefs that anger delivers come with a return label.

What if parenting became less about telling our children who they should be and more about asking them again and again forever who they already are? Then, when they tell us, we would celebrate instead of concede. It's not: I love you no matter which of my expectations you meet or don't meet. It's: My only expectation is that you become yourself. The more deeply I know you, the more beautiful you become to me. If someone tells you who they are, consider how lucky you are to be graced with that gift. Don't respond with an eviction notice, a permission slip, or a concession speech. Un-God yourself. Gasp in awe and applaud with gusto.

I really, really think the secret to being loved is to love. And the secret to being interesting is to be interested. And the secret to having a friend is being a friend.... Be brave. Like somebody.

I've done my research and learned this : Ten is when we learn how to be good girls and real boys.Ten is when children begin to hide who they are in order to become what the world expects them to be.Right around ten is when we begin to internalize our formal taming.Ten is when the world sat me down, told me to be quiet, and pointed toward my cages: These are the feelings you are allowed to express.This is how a woman should act.This is the body you must strive for.These are the things you will believe.These are the people you can love.Those are the people you should fear.This is the kind of life you are supposed to want.Make yourself fit.You'll be uncomfortable at first, but don't worry-eventually you'll forget you're caged.Soon this will just feel like: life.

I understand myself differently now. I was just a caged girl made for wide-open skies. I wasn't crazy. I was a goddamn cheetah.