Jack Benny

Thug: [repeating] Look, bud, I said 'Your money or your life.'

Jack: Well, only if you have enough. I'd hate for you to run out to the zoo just for me.

Jack: [out of shot] Darn right I am.

Perry Mason: Maybe my writers are better than yours.

Jack: [Pointing to the tiger] He must have gone to a veterinarian in Denmark.

Rochester: It would help if you bleed a little.

Jack: I'm scared, I'm frightened.

Jack Benny: Where's that big glass star I told you to pack away last Christmas?

Don Wilson: Because I had to give him mine.

Rochester: Well, it went down two points this last year.

Mugger: Your money or your life.

Bob Hope: Let's not do any jokes we didn't plan on, eh.

Jack: I believe in being honest with myself. If there's one thing I hate it's when a comedian is great and won't admit it. I've never met one like that, but if I did, I'd hate them.

Clyde: You're telling me. What about those first three nights, we had to light fires to keep the animals away.

Bob Hope: By the way, this is where Bing did his last show and I think they've done very nicely. They've gotten most of it out of the curtains.