Lily Tomlin Quotes

I bet the worst part about dying is the part where your whole life passes before you.

I swear people don't want sex so much as they want somebody who'll listen to 'em … the first thing you learn after fellatio is how to listen.

Your problem is your role models were models.

It's my belief we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain.

Exercise is for people who can't handle drugs or alcohol.

I've seen these women all my life, I know how they walk, I know how they talk...

I always wondered why somebody doesn't do something about that. Then I realized I was somebody.

"I said "Somebody should do something about that." Then I realized I am somebody."

To me, 'sexual freedom' means freedom from having to have sex.

It's a more ridiculing, divisive humor today, especially with the advent of political incorrectness, which is a license to be as ridiculing and awful about certain groups... There should be room for everybody, absolutely, and then the culture is going to decide the prevailing weight. We can't decide it individually. Nobody is here without a reason. … I always had a different sensibility. I like a huge range of comedy — from broad and farcical, the most sensitive, the most understated — but I always wanted my comedy to be more embracing of the species rather than debasing of it.

For fast-acting relief from stress, try slowing down.

The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.

Why is it that when we talk to God we’re said to be praying, but when God talks to us we’re schizophrenic?

If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?

The best mind altering drug is the truth.