Mark Twain Quotes

A half-truth is the most cowardly of lies.

Thunder is good, thunder is impressive; but it is lightning that does the work.

Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

There isn't time, so brief is life, for bickerings, apologies, heartburnings, callings to account. There is only time for loving, and but an instant, so to speak, for that.

In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards.

There's one way to find out if a man is honest: ask him; if he says yes, you know he's crooked.

Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?

A person that started in to carry a cat home by the tail was getting knowledge that was always going to be useful to him, and warn't ever going to grow dim or doubtful.

Be good and you will be lonesome.

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.

Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.

Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.

Patriotism is supporting your country all the time and your government when it deserves it.

Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates.