Mark Twain Quotes

Writing is easy. All you have to do is cross out the wrong words.

Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.

Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough.

He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.

Human beings can be awful cruel to one another.

The government is merely a servant — merely a temporary servant; it cannot be its prerogative to determine what is right and what is wrong, and decide who is a patriot and who isn't. Its function is to obey orders, not originate them.

The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after it he knows too little.

Ignorant people think it is the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain't so; it is the sickening grammar that they use.

Good judgement is the result of experience and experience the result of bad judgement.

The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and starting on the first one.

A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.

When I am king they shall not have bread and shelter only, but also teachings out of books, for a full belly is little worth where the mind is starved.

Write without pay until somebody offers to pay.

It is by the goodness of god that in our country we have those 3 unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.

When red-headed people are above a certain social grade their hair is auburn.