Ogden Nash Quotes

When smut's to be smitten Smoot will smite For G-d, for country, And Fahrenheit.

To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever you're right, shut up.

God in his wisdom made the fly And then forgot to tell us why.

O, money, money, money, I'm not necessarily one of those who think thee holy,
But I often stop to wonder how thou canst go out so fast when thou comest in so slowly.

If you don’t want to work you have to work to earn enough money so that you won’t have to work.

The trouble with a kitten is that....... It eventually becomes a cat!

The weather is so very mild
That some would call it warm.
Good gracious, aren't we lucky, child?
Here comes a thunderstorm.

The most exciting happiness is the happiness generated by forces beyond your control.

Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.

Parsley is gharsley.

There’s nothing that keeps it’s youth
So far as I know, but a tree and the truth

May I join you in the doghouse, Rover?
I wish to retire till the party's over.

Belinda was as brave as a barrel full of bears,
And Ink and Blink chased lions down the stairs,
Mustard was as brave as a tiger in a rage,
But Custard cried for a nice safe cage.

People who have what they want are very fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they really don't want it,
And I wish I could afford to gather all such people into a gloomy castle on the Danube and hire half a dozen capable Draculas to haunt it.
I dont' mind their having a lot of money, and I don't care how they employ it,
But I do think that they damn well ought to admit they enjoy it.

Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.