Ogden Nash Quotes

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.

I think remorse ought to stop biting the consciences that feed it.

Remorse is a violent dyspepsia of the mind.

The most exciting happiness is the happiness generated by forces beyond your control.

I can't say that I feel particularly one way or the other towards bell-boys,
But I do admit that I haven't much use for the it's-just-as-well boys,
The cheery souls who drop around after every catastrophe and think they are taking the curse off
By telling you about somebody who is even worse off.
No matter how deep and dark your pit, how dank your shroud,
Their heads are heroically unbloody and unbowed.

Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore, And that's what parents were created for.

The song of canaries
Never varies,
And when they're moulting
They're pretty revolting.

The cow is of the bovine ilk;
One end is moo, the other, milk.

Smite, Smoot, Be rugged and rough, Smut if smitten Is front-page stuff.

Senator Smoot is an institute Not to be bribed with pelf; He guards our homes from erotic tomes By reading them all himself.

When smut's to be smitten Smoot will smite For G-d, for country, And Fahrenheit.

Senator Smoot (Republican, Ut.) Is planning a ban on smut. Oh rooti-ti-toot for Smoot of Ut. And his reverend occiput. Smite, Smoot, smite for Ut., Grit your molars and do your dut., Gird up your l__ns, Smite h_p and th_gh, We'll all be Kansas By and by.

She took those pills from the pill concocter,
And Isabel calmly cured the doctor.

The giant was hairy, the giant was horrid,
He had one eye in the middle of his forehead.

Once in a night as black as pitch
Isabel met a wicked old witch.
the witch's face was cross and wrinkled,
The witch's gums with teeth were sprinkled.
Ho, ho, Isabel! the old witch crowed,
I'll turn you into an ugly toad!
Isabel, Isabel, didn't worry.
Isabel didn't scream or scurry.
She showed no rage and she showed no rancor,
But she turned the witch into milk, and drank her.