Oscar Levant Quotes

[Ira Gershwin] said that [P.G.] Wodehouse will address a letter, stamp it and throw it out of his third-story window onto the street trusting in the good nature of passerby to pick it up and mail it.

I've changed, I'm nice to people and I'm not so self-centered. What I'm trying to do now is think of the other person. The only trouble is, I've found that the other person thinks only of himself.

When I can't sleep, I read a book by Steve Allen.

In some situations I was difficult, in odd moments impossible, in rare moments loathsome, but at my best unapproachably great.

I heartily approve of her campaign to beautify America. It would be greatly improved if the First Family were kept out of sight.

When I was in my prime, I was an egomaniac and didn’t allow my wife to buy the best sardines–the King Oscars–which bear my name. I felt there should be only one king in my house.

Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember.

The other night my daughter Lorna reminisced about the time I regressed to complete infantilism. We were having dinner and tapioca pudding was served. A wild glint came into my eyes and in the presence of my wife and children I shrieked at the top of my voice, “I love this more than anything in the world!” I had to be withdrawn from tapioca pudding slowly. It was one of the few times I wasn’t committed to achieve withdrawal.

Ballet is the fairies' baseball.

I'm controversial. My friends either dislike me or hate me

Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome.

Ballet is the faeries' baseball

I have seizures of momentary sanity.

It's not a pretty face, I grant you. But underneath its flabby exterior is an enormous lack of character.

I was once thrown out of a mental hospital for depressing the other patients.