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My research came out of my very early traumas. Out of questions like, does it really have to be this way? Does there have to be so much cruelty and violence, and insensitivity? Is it really, as we’re so often told, just human nature? Whether it’s original sin, or selfish genes, while they fight each other, it’s the same story, isn’t it?

Why do these people always have returning to a “traditional” male dominated, punitive family as a top priority?.. In these families children learn another basic lesson to fit into domination systems, which is why childrearing is so punitive. They learn that it is very, very painful to not obey orders, no matter how unjust, no matter how capricious. And they learn denial, because they’re dependent on the people who take care of them and who also cause them pain. So, they deflect their rage onto an out-group that some authority figure, whether it’s a Hitler, or a Trump, tells them is to blame. They have rigid thinking. Rigid sexual stereotypes, gender stereotypes.

...The truth of the matter is the “traditional socialization” for men is never, never to be like a woman. In other words, the only emotions men get are contempt and anger. But to be real men, they can’t have the soft emotions. You know, vulnerability and the behaviors of caring.