Robert Asprin Quotes

You know," Malcolm remarked to no one in particular, "I'd say that chap doesn't enjoy time travel.

It operates very much like the social structure of a nomadic tribe. Those in the brotherhood are fully human; those outside are not.

Skeeter thought dark, vile thoughts at bureaus and the bureauc-rats that ran ’em.

Oh. I was beginning to worry."
"You do that," Kit laughed. "I like it better when you're worried. Proves you're thinking."
She put out a pink tongue. "You're mean and horrible. Why does everybody else like you?"
Kit scratched his head. "Search me. Guess it's my good looks and charm.

The more chaotic the world, the greater the need for ritual.

But—as Kit and Sven had been so fond of saying—the Universe didn’t give beans for “fair.” It simply was. You got it right or paid the price.

Careless is stupid, he snarled at himself, and stupid can be fatal.

Are you out of your mind? No, you have to be in possession of a mind, first, to be out of it.

Li was a very honest and honorable man. But when it came to any man’s abiding passion, honesty occasionally went straight out the nearest available window.

When it comes to scouts, heroes are just people who confuse cowardice with common sense.

Skeeter just couldn’t figure out what was so horrible about taking a good, long, clear-eyed look at one’s past and facing whatever one found in it. Making up the past to fit whatever idea some politically correct group wanted to pass off as reality this week seemed a lot more dangerous to him than facing brutal facts.

The death of the wildebeest herd didn’t change the bloody savagery she’d witnessed in the Roman Circus, but it put life and death in much clearer perspective. Nature wasn’t any nobler or gentler than human beings. It was just as deadly and just as cruel and just as savagely “unfair” to the weak...
Maybe more so.

Fools have a way of discovering...that the laws of time travel, like the laws of physics, have no pity and no remorse.

All the years he’d spent fooling himself into thinking that what he did was correct was simply time wasted from his life, on delusions and fantasies that kept him from seeing what he was and where he was inevitably headed with genuine clarity.

He'll get a life sentence for the illegal trafficking alone and probably a death sentence for the people he killed along the way." He sighed slightly. "I always did fancy happy endings.