Robert Asprin Quotes

Kit chuckled. “You, Bull Morgan, are a wicked judge of human character.”
“Hell, Kit, thought you’d figured it out by now: all human character is wicked. Just varies in degree is all.”

Careless is stupid, he snarled at himself, and stupid can be fatal.

Skeeter just couldn’t figure out what was so horrible about taking a good, long, clear-eyed look at one’s past and facing whatever one found in it. Making up the past to fit whatever idea some politically correct group wanted to pass off as reality this week seemed a lot more dangerous to him than facing brutal facts.

Oh. I was beginning to worry."
"You do that," Kit laughed. "I like it better when you're worried. Proves you're thinking."
She put out a pink tongue. "You're mean and horrible. Why does everybody else like you?"
Kit scratched his head. "Search me. Guess it's my good looks and charm.

Malcolm had forgotten how very young eighteen was, with its mixture of invincible assuredness, fragile emotions, and the desperate need to be taken seriously—even when caught in complete ignorance.

What?" Jenna came out of her chair so fast, it crashed over. "Are you insane?"
"No," Skeeter said mildly, "although I know a few people who might argue the point.

A brave man is one who admits his fear. Only a fool believes himself invincible.

A tiny whisper at the back of her mind warned her to be wary of what one asked the gods for, lest they grant it.

It operates very much like the social structure of a nomadic tribe. Those in the brotherhood are fully human; those outside are not.

Fools have a way of discovering...that the laws of time travel, like the laws of physics, have no pity and no remorse.

Are you out of your mind? No, you have to be in possession of a mind, first, to be out of it.

Playing God was a sweetly addictive game.

Once again, Caddrick had failed to use the few brains God had given him.

But—as Kit and Sven had been so fond of saying—the Universe didn’t give beans for “fair.” It simply was. You got it right or paid the price.

He'll get a life sentence for the illegal trafficking alone and probably a death sentence for the people he killed along the way." He sighed slightly. "I always did fancy happy endings.